8 things this Introvert learnt from living with an Extrovert

DeFi Si - the Homesick Kiwi
6 min readDec 14, 2020

So, I’m an introvert, a fairly confident and outgoing introvert, but still an introvert.

I married an extrovert, at times a very unconfident and introspective extrovert, but still an extrovert.

The following are some observations that I have gathered over being married for 13 1/2 years. Perhaps they will help fellow introverts out there who have coupled up with an extrovert.

Just a quick foreword, that I have been with introverts in the past, and while very harmonious I have found that sometimes it got too harmonious. We lacked engagement, we lacked (I don’t want to use the word passion, but dammit!) passion!

When your partner starts to feel like your sibling, that is a problem… I’ve never had that with my extrovert partner.

But there are some very different problems that come with being coupled with an extrovert. These can take a lot for an introvert to get used to.

Allow me to elaborate…

But first, let me also add, that I’m a man writing about the relationship with my female partner, so I’m going to use ‘she’ for the extrovert, but of course, your situation may be different, so no hard feelings right?

Talking time…

She talks so very much!

It’s like if there is a thought in her head she needs to express it, otherwise, something bad might happen?

But the take away here is that She just needs to feel listened to! So while you might be having your own, you know, actually important thoughts, you may need to quickly put them on hold for a moment to ensure that she feels heard.

Needless to say, speaking up is important too!

In the early days of our relationship, before I learnt to express myself better, I had an explosion that has caused us many laughs since. But at the time was the best I could do to try to put a stop to the incessant chatter.

We were lying in bed, either in the morning or the evening, really doesn’t matter.

Because she is always talking.

I was either half asleep or half awake and the words were issuing forth from her mouth, probably about something desperately important. And instead of being a grown-up man, owning my emotions and clearly speaking my needs, I…

DeFi Si - the Homesick Kiwi

Simon Henderson — Expat Kiwi since ‘97 — Writing about DeFi Projects, Crypto safety & security, and sometimes about expat life— https://linktr.ee/HomesickKiwi